Some people talk of having had a changed life at their conversion ... that they felt automatically filled with the Holy Spirit ... that they felt a lightness & freedom. I never had that experience. Life went on as per usual, and nothing really changed. I never felt *different*.
Why am I different in this, though? Why no "sha-bang!" conversion experience? Sure, I had my "rebirth" experience: I lived 12 years of my life under the label of "Christian" without really knowing what it meant to be one. It wasn't until I stumbled, and God saved me, that I truly understood.
Sometimes, in my head, I believe that I can be a better Christian if I just try harder. Other times I know, in my heart, that I don't have to try. I just have to be willing to let go ... to hand over the keys and let God drive. So, if I know the truth, why don't I do it? Why do I stubbornly try to hang onto control, when I know it's impossible to do so?
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Quotes from "A Third Testament" by Malcolm Muggeridge
Here are some quotes from "A Third Testament" by Malcolm Muggeridge ... I'll add my thoughts later, once I've had a chance to chew on these for a bit! ;o)
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p.37 - "O greedy men, what will satisfy you if God Himself will not?" ~ St. Augustine
"There's nothing so powerful in drawing the spirit of a man downwards as the caresses of a woman." ~ St. Augustine
p. 58 - "How few things there are which can be proved. Proofs only convince the mind. Who has ever been able to prove that tomorrow will come, and that we shall die? And yet, what could be more generally believed?... In short, we must rely on faith when the mind has once perceived where truth lies, in order to quench our thirst and colour our minds with a faith that eludes us at every moment of the day." ~ Blaise Pascal
p. 79 - "Jesus Christ did nothing but teach men that they only loved themselves, that they were slaves, blind, sick, unhappy and sinful; that He had come to deliver them, bring them light, sanctify and heal them; that this would come about through their hating themselves and following Him to misery and death on the Cross...
...It is the heart which is aware of God and not reason. That is what faith is: God perceived intuitively by the heart, not by reason..." ~ Blaise Pascal, from his "Penseés"
p.86 - "...the only reality in life has been from the beginning of time, and will be until the end of time, a spiritual one called God." ~ the author, re: William Blake's belief
"I am wrapped in mortality, my flesh is a prison, my bones the bars of death. What is mortality but the things related to the body, which dies. What is immortality but the things related to the spirit, which lives eternally. What is the joy of Heaven but improvement of the things of the spirit. What are the pains of hell but ignorance and bodily lust, idleness and devastation of the things of the spirit..." ~ William Blake
p. 90 -"To see a world in a grain of sand
and a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour."
~ William Blake
p.95-96 - "Everyone who, like Blake, has a passion for goodness cannot but in some degree hate morality; just as lovers of freedom hate laws, and lovers of truth hate dogma...
...The truth is that in our imperfect, mortal existence, morality is a condition of goodness, as law is of freedom, and as dogma has been of the survival of our Christian faith." ~ the author
p. 134 - "Is not the truth of the matter really this, that man is just like a child who would rather be free from being under his parents' eyes. Is not this what men want? To be free from being under the eyes of God?..." ~ Søren Kierkegaard
p. 138 & 143 - "Kierkegaard modestly called himself a Christian Auditor: 'An apostle proclaims the truth, an auditor is responsible for discovering counterfeits.' And, therefore, he has to have been in his time a bit of a counterfeiter himself." ~ author re: Søren Kierkegaard
p. 164 - "...Tolstoy observed that only in his own tiny circle of the educated, rich and mostly idle, did people take so despairing a view of life. The others, the muzhiks [peasants], went about their work, got up in the morning, and lay down at night with a sense that life was essentially good, however arduous and full of hardships it might be for them. Likewise, when the time came for them to die, they were ready to close their eyes and depart without fear or recrimination. They, who had so little and knew so little, were at peace with themselves and with the world; it was the others, who had so much and thought they knew so much, who despaired... The difference? The muzhiks had faith..." ~ the author, re: Leo Tolstoy
-------------------------
p.37 - "O greedy men, what will satisfy you if God Himself will not?" ~ St. Augustine
"There's nothing so powerful in drawing the spirit of a man downwards as the caresses of a woman." ~ St. Augustine
p. 58 - "How few things there are which can be proved. Proofs only convince the mind. Who has ever been able to prove that tomorrow will come, and that we shall die? And yet, what could be more generally believed?... In short, we must rely on faith when the mind has once perceived where truth lies, in order to quench our thirst and colour our minds with a faith that eludes us at every moment of the day." ~ Blaise Pascal
p. 79 - "Jesus Christ did nothing but teach men that they only loved themselves, that they were slaves, blind, sick, unhappy and sinful; that He had come to deliver them, bring them light, sanctify and heal them; that this would come about through their hating themselves and following Him to misery and death on the Cross...
...It is the heart which is aware of God and not reason. That is what faith is: God perceived intuitively by the heart, not by reason..." ~ Blaise Pascal, from his "Penseés"
p.86 - "...the only reality in life has been from the beginning of time, and will be until the end of time, a spiritual one called God." ~ the author, re: William Blake's belief
"I am wrapped in mortality, my flesh is a prison, my bones the bars of death. What is mortality but the things related to the body, which dies. What is immortality but the things related to the spirit, which lives eternally. What is the joy of Heaven but improvement of the things of the spirit. What are the pains of hell but ignorance and bodily lust, idleness and devastation of the things of the spirit..." ~ William Blake
p. 90 -
and a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour."
~ William Blake
p.95-96 - "Everyone who, like Blake, has a passion for goodness cannot but in some degree hate morality; just as lovers of freedom hate laws, and lovers of truth hate dogma...
...The truth is that in our imperfect, mortal existence, morality is a condition of goodness, as law is of freedom, and as dogma has been of the survival of our Christian faith." ~ the author
p. 134 - "Is not the truth of the matter really this, that man is just like a child who would rather be free from being under his parents' eyes. Is not this what men want? To be free from being under the eyes of God?..." ~ Søren Kierkegaard
p. 138 & 143 - "Kierkegaard modestly called himself a Christian Auditor: 'An apostle proclaims the truth, an auditor is responsible for discovering counterfeits.' And, therefore, he has to have been in his time a bit of a counterfeiter himself." ~ author re: Søren Kierkegaard
p. 164 - "...Tolstoy observed that only in his own tiny circle of the educated, rich and mostly idle, did people take so despairing a view of life. The others, the muzhiks [peasants], went about their work, got up in the morning, and lay down at night with a sense that life was essentially good, however arduous and full of hardships it might be for them. Likewise, when the time came for them to die, they were ready to close their eyes and depart without fear or recrimination. They, who had so little and knew so little, were at peace with themselves and with the world; it was the others, who had so much and thought they knew so much, who despaired... The difference? The muzhiks had faith..." ~ the author, re: Leo Tolstoy
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